Welcoming Incoming 6th Graders
If I’m honest, in nearly 20 years of student ministry, one of the issues I’ve consistently wrestled with is how to best assimilate students into the student ministry. What do we do with students who are entering a new stage of life, growing and maturing rapidly, and still learning to leave behind their more “childish” ways? For my first several years in vocational ministry, my answer was “RUN!” For many youth leaders, these kids are like the beginning of the Adams Family song: “They’re creepy and they’re cooky, mysterious and spooky, they’re altogether ooky…..the rising 6th graders!” In fact, one of my first “orders of business” as a brand-new youth pastor was to raise the youth ministry starting grade from 6th to 7th. We kept it that way for my entire stint at that church (almost 9 years).
Now, obviously, there is nothing wrong with having youth ministry start at 7th grade, depending on the context. But for me, one of the main reasons I made the change was, in a weird way, that I was intimidated by 6th graders. I was far more comfortable with the “too cool, rough and tough” juniors and seniors than I was with these new students. After serving at that church for nearly 9 years, I then stepped out of vocational ministry for a time. We had moved to a new town, so we found a new church and asked where we could serve as lay leaders. What age group did they need the most help with? You guessed it, the 5th and 6th graders, of course. During that season, God began to open my eyes to how unique and incredible ministry to 6th graders is.
Unexpected Lessons on Ministering to Rising 6th Graders
6th Graders Are Often the Most Excited Students You Have
Many 6th graders enter student ministry with an “eyes wide open” excitement! For many I’ve been able to work with over the past several years, while there was some nervousness and apprehension (for students and parents), there has also been great enthusiasm. Sometimes they’ve had older siblings already go through the student ministry, so they have heard about all the inside jokes, the extreme ping pong games, and life-changing missions trips. Other times, they’ve just been able to observe the activities and camaraderie of the group across the church campus and are excited that they are finally able to partake. And for many, they are excited to continue learning and growing in their relationship with the Lord.
6th Graders Are Often the Most Curious Students You Have
Most 6th graders are SUPER curious…about everything! If you’ve served in student ministry for any length of time, you’ve learned that questions and discussion are a big part of the ministry in general, but we also know as students get older, the “too cool for school” or “worried about being seen as dumb” dynamic eventually hits. But it’s been my experience that many 6th graders have no issues with this. Can their questions sometimes come from “left field” or start down a rabbit trail that seems never-ending? Sure. But don’t scold, embarrass, or belittle that tendency. Embrace it! Of course, there are times where we have to gently guide the discussion back from the rabbit trail, but the journey is often worth it.
6th Graders Often Learn and Mature Quickly
For many, the 6th grade year is a maturation raceway. For a majority of the 6th graders I have worked with, their 6th grade year (11-12-year-olds) is one of incredible growth and maturity. Not only do they learn from older students, leaders, and pastors about the rhythms and expectations of being part of the group, but their eyes become more open to the good, bad, and ugly of the world around them. They begin to step into the “real world”, and that growth helps with their ability to understand how the truths of the gospel have implications in the world around them. And as youth workers, we get the amazing opportunity to have a front row seat to see it happen.
6th Graders Are Often “Bridge Builders” for Your Ministry
At our church, fellowship time is very popular before and after our church-wide programming. Many of our families will stay and fellowship for at least an hour after services have ended. It is in these times that I’ve noticed this last thing I really enjoy about 6th graders really blossom: for many 6th graders, they still have younger friends in children’s ministry, in addition to their friends in the grade above them. I’ve seen 6th graders start serving as “bridges” between students who will soon be coming into student ministry and current middle schoolers. They can really help incoming 6th graders transition into student ministry life.
Practical Tips on Working With 6th Graders
Start Small with Activities
I have typically held off on throwing the big start-of-school/promotion celebration party where 6th graders are welcomed. It’s been my experience that the 6th graders often “clump up” and hide in the shadows at these events. I’ve found that doing some smaller events (such as just incoming 6th and 7th graders, just middle school guys or girls) through the summer leading up to “promotion time” has been much more beneficial. This truly has helped many of our students transition well. Particularly in the first semester, we often split up, giving the incoming 6th graders ample time to continue warming up.
Find Intentional Volunteers
Particularly for this age group, volunteers are so important. This is their “first impression” of youth leaders, which means you should be careful about who you have in their groups. As I’ve alluded to throughout this article, 6th ministry can be quite unique, which means it requires a “special” type of volunteer. For the past two years, we’ve had a mom of one of our students start teaching our 6th and 7th grade girls’ class. She has gone ALL OUT. She’s very nurturing while keeping the discussion under control during their time together. She really has become a champion for that age group.
Prepare the Parents
I can’t stress with one enough: OVER-communicate with the families. I recently sent an email about an upcoming event and (as per usual), I had the basic details, but left quite a bit out, thinking I would include those details in a later email. Within a few minutes, I received a very gracious email in return, asking for clarification on several of those details. It hit me that this particular family hasn’t had students in the student ministry before, so this was all very new to them. As we know, parents grow more comfortable as you provide more details. I’ve challenged myself, particularly when reaching out to families of 6th graders, to overcommunicate, and it has helped smooth the transition for students and their parents.
A student’s journey through student ministry is unique. A student will grow and change physically, mentally, relationally, and spiritually during their time in student ministry. At every stage, there will be challenges, but also opportunities. Our job is not to parent them; it is to provide an atmosphere where they can be comfortable talking about their faith, sharing struggles, exercising their giftings, and accepting challenges to become more like Christ. We don’t get to pick and choose when those realities start to take effect. And if we try to wait until they are “easier to handle”, we will miss out on significant formative years. I’d like to challenge us all to really press into engaging those “awkward” 6th graders as well as the “rough and tough” juniors and seniors, knowing that God has entrusted us with bringing the gospel to bear on every area (and stage) of life. Ministry to young people and their families truly is a beautiful gift. Let’s embrace it.