How to Run an Effective Parent Meeting
Parent meetings can be daunting. Memories of poor experiences and discouraging conversations can make parent meetings one of the most stressful parts of ministry. After all, they are probably not the main thing that compelled you to answer the call to student ministry.
However, parent meetings are an essential part of a healthy youth ministry's life. Not only do they allow you to keep parents informed about upcoming events, but they also provide valuable insight into the ministry from the parents’ perspective. Beyond that, they can help you to build valuable relationships with the people your youth ministry is meant to support. If parents are the primary disciple-makers in the home (and they are!), then routinely getting together with them is an indispensable part of effective youth ministry.
Here are a few things to keep in mind when planning your next parent meeting:
1. Communication
A prerequisite for running an effective parent meeting is communicating about the meeting itself. A common critique of student leaders is that they struggle with communication. To combat this, begin communication about the upcoming meeting early and use multiple channels to do so. If you don’t give parents fair warning about meetings, then you will likely have poor turnout.
Beyond that, make sure you communicate why you are meeting. Encouraging parents to attend meetings may require giving more information about the purpose of the meeting, especially if you are discussing something urgent or making any changes. Tell them what will be discussed, why it will benefit them, and how their involvement is important.
2. Consistency
Events like DNOW, Camps, Mission Trips, Retreats, etc., are often a consistent rhythm in American youth ministries. Students often have grown to expect these things to happen each year. In the same way, parent meetings should become an expectation as well. It shouldn’t be surprising that you are trying to get parents together to discuss their families and ministry.
In our student ministry, we have three different categories of parent meetings:
Semesterly meetings: Twice a year, we come together—parents and students—to discuss upcoming events and new things to be excited about in student ministry. We have one in the spring (around April) and another in the fall (around October). These kinds of meetings should be the minimum expectation, as you have new families coming into the ministry each year. Keeping everyone updated on the upcoming semester is common courtesy.
One-off meetings: Anytime we have overnight trips planned, we plan a meeting for parents. This kind of meeting can be helpful because it gives them opportunities to ask questions, discuss travel arrangements, rooming assignments, and even get a schedule of what all their students will experience at the event. This can be a short meeting that’s laser-focused on this one topic (consider having it after church or before youth group).
One-on-one meetings: This is often the category most people dread. Nothing is tougher than having to look parents in the eye and tell them their student has been breaking the rules or causing problems. However, it is important that youth leaders lean into these tough conversations. It is more important to be honest and seek to minister openly with families than to spare awkward situations. Also, these do not always have to be about discipline (in fact, it is unwise to only get together when you have a problem to discuss)! Just as youth leaders often go out to eat and meet with students, they should also look to invest in the lives of the parents. Sitting down with parents to have a conversation about life and their teenager’s faith can bear wonderful fruit.
3. Contributions
We have all left a meeting thinking, “Well, that could have been an email.” Generally, when this is said, it means that no new information was given, and it was not worth the time spent there. To avoid this, youth leaders must have a goal in mind; make sure you know what you want from the meeting! Whether it is communicating a new idea, casting a vision for the next year, or addressing concerns, effective meetings require goals and planning. Parents (and students) can tell whether you prepared for the meeting. Set specific goals for these meetings and make them known at the beginning, so that it actually contributes to discussion and serves parents. Goals will vary from meeting to meeting, but having them is essential.
Here are a few examples of goals for the different types of meetings I mentioned above.
Semesterly meetings: Communicate new and exciting things about your student ministry. In the spring, you may use this to tell them about all the summer opportunities, while also giving valuable insights about trip deadlines. In the Fall, you may also want to reinforce in-home discipleship by keeping parents in the know about what their students are learning in your different programs (like Sunday School and youth group).
One-off/travel meetings: Your goals could be to tell parents important logistics: who will be chaperoning students, accommodations, travel plans, and needs for the trip. You could also have materials for them to bring home, such as a packing list. It would also be wise to have any documents they need to sign or notarize there (ask around at church to see if someone who’s a notary could attend to notarize forms at the meeting or on an upcoming Sunday after church).
One-on-one meetings: Since one of your goals is to partner with this parent for their kid’s spiritual growth, these sensitive topics should be addressed private conversations, not public discussions or in public settings. Some may ask, “How can youth workers address concerns with students without being confrontational?” Youth leaders can address concerns without making it seem like they are unfairly singling out any individual in a large group. During your conversation, make sure to express your care for their teenager through your nonverbals as you articulate your specific concerns for their son and daughter–then ask how you can work together to redirect their teen in the right direction.
4. Convenience
Another part of planning an effective parent meeting is choosing the right time. It might be wise to have your meetings when parents and students are already at church, like Sundays and Wednesdays that are not holidays. If you want to maximize the amount of people who can attend, set yourself up for success by choosing an optimal time and date.
We have had successful meetings at lunchtime after Sunday worship services. For our semesterly meetings, we typically hold them immediately following our 10:30 am service. We provide lunch, so families don’t have to worry about meal plans. You can talk while they eat, or spend some time in fellowship together before jumping in. At the very least, this can help combat the “this could have been an email” trope (since you can’t eat an email!). It’s not required that you feed parents every time you want to meet, but especially for more important, ministry-wide needs, it can help.
5. Celebration
Parent meetings don’t have to be dreadful! They also don’t have to be purely about dispensing information or schedule updates. They can be a celebration of the things God has done, or the things still to come in the life of your youth ministry. Don’t skip over the opportunity to talk about what excites and encourages you! Let parents see and hear the passion you have for ministry, and make sure your body language and delivery shows it.
As you close your meeting with prayer, thank God for all He is doing in your church, how He is producing fruit in students’ lives, and how He is using parents to raise up their children to know and love Him. Remember that you are not simply building a program for youth; you are leading parents to bring up their children in the faith. As meet with them, remember that God has blessed us with the gift of youth-parents, to partner together as we co-disciple teens for His glory.