Harboring a Savior Complex
This article is an excerpt from Steve Eatmon’s book, 10 Mistakes I Made in Youth Ministry: And What You Can Learn From Them (2026, New Growth Press). This excerpt is republished without modification with permission from the publisher. Affiliate link shared above.
The service concluded and the rush began. Since we did not have our own building, we decided to have our back-to-school fellowship at a family’s house after the service. I wanted to make it easy on our hosts, so I volunteered to bring the food, the entertainment, the decorations—just about everything. I felt it would be rude to simply rush out of the building at the conclusion of the service, so I chose to chat with a few people and check on how they were doing. Afterward, I ran to the store to buy needed supplies for the get-together, planning to meet everyone at the house.
To say I miscalculated the amount of time it would take to do all of this would be the understatement of the year. It seemed like it could work, until I arrived late with grocery bags hanging on my arms and a batch of kids and parents anxiously waiting around for the fun to begin. A parent lovingly took me aside and, while admiring my effort to ease the burden of the host, delivered these incisive words: “Steve, how about next time you let a few parents take on some of the work, instead of trying to do everything yourself. We’d love to help.”
The Superhero Myth
It’s easy to fall prey to the superhero myth—that it’s all on us to do what needs to be done. This is extremely tempting in smaller churches where you may serve as the lone youth leader with only a handful of volunteers. But it also happens in larger churches because career and professional politics can spawn a superhero mindset: Look at me. I can outperform my peers.
But while ministry is demanding work, let’s not forget that we serve the Lord and not men (Ephesians 6:8). We have an audience of one, and we don’t have to prove anything to him. He knows our faults, and there is nothing we could possibly do to impress him. He loves us, even with all of our weaknesses. If you are in Christ, you are justified and declared righteous in his sight. God is for you, and if he is for you, who can be against you (Romans 8:31)? Knowing this truth frees us from trying to convince feeble human minds of our worthiness because we are already worthy in his sight. Our charge is simply to be obedient and faithful to him and his calling.
In Exodus 18, Moses’s father-in-law Jethro comes to him in the wilderness. Moses is fresh off the escape at the Red Sea, and Jethro is pleased to hear about all that has happened—until Moses goes to work as Israel’s judge from morning till evening. This prompts Jethro to say, “What you are doing is not good. You and these people who come to you will only wear yourselves out. The work is too heavy for you; you cannot handle it alone” (vv. 17–18). Jethro was saying, “Unless you delegate responsibility, you will run down this nation.”
The back-to-school social was a wake-up call bidding me to learn to delegate. If you don’t also learn the lesson, you and your ministry will fizzle quickly. Here are three tips for delegating responsibility in a way that will allow your ministry to flourish.
Delegate to qualified people
The delegation process goes more smoothly when you begin by making sure people are qualified. Paul tells Timothy, “The things you have heard me say in the presence of many witnesses entrust to reliable people who will also be qualified to teach others” (2 Timothy 2:2). While this verse is primarily about teaching, the principle applies to all aspects of ministry. Part of Timothy’s job was to make sure that other teachers didn’t teach false doctrine, so it was imperative for him to staff the church with people who were qualified, knew the gospel and believed its message.
What makes someone qualified depends on their role and the church culture, but I believe the following five qualities transcend the specific skills needed to carry out a job:
They should have a relationship with Christ. There are some jobs for which that may not be a requirement, such as a parent willing to open their home or a student performing administrative tasks for a food drive. But in roles that require a student or leader to represent the group, they should be a believer.
They need to be dependable, a man or woman of their word.
They should have some level of competency at what they are asked to do. If they aren’t organized, don’t have them coordinate a major event.
They should be thorough and strive to do all their assignments with excellence, and more importantly, for the glory of God.
They should be able to complete small responsibilities that you can observe before you give them larger ones. This will allow you to assess their readiness.
Prepare those you delegate
There is a temptation to find someone we think is the right person and then just sit back and relax. We think, Everything will be all right now. That isn’t always the case. In youth ministry, as with delegating anywhere else, people need to be prepped for the role. And if the role is ongoing, they need constant management and feedback.
Even if someone is highly skilled at a particular task, you still have to prepare them to handle that task in your context. If you have a volunteer who is a high school teacher, don’t assume there will be no hiccups as they transition to teaching Sunday school or leading a small group. Make sure you prep them for the role, explain the resources that they need to succeed, and follow up to get their feedback and be sure that they are helping you fulfill the vision for the ministry. Teaching in a public school is different from teaching in your particular ministry context. It’s important to be aware of that difference so your volunteer can be confident and prepared for the task.
Have grace for mistakes
When you work in adult ministry, grace is vital. It’s even more essential among teenagers and with volunteers who often are college students and other young adults. Even the most responsible of kids will forget or be late to a meeting once in a while. Band members can miss notes or forget to play a chorus. Audiovisual operators can be late changing slides during your talk. Parents can accidentally double book themselves when they planned to help with an event.
When you delegate, you have to realize that things may not go the way you want them to go, and you will have to live with that. This is where we get to show grace because God shows grace to us every day even though we are sinners. If you are a perfectionist and become temperamental every time something doesn’t go right, your ability to delegate will dry up very quickly because no one will want to work with you.
God is Our Model
God is sovereign over all; he is not dependent on us the way a CEO heavily relies on employees. Yet he allows us as youth ministers to join in the work of bringing youth into a deeper relationship with Christ. If that is how the all-powerful God operates, how much more should we? Instead of thinking that we have to involve others, our perspective should be that we get to involve others. Although they will stumble around and sin, we need to remember that Jesus gives us the great honor of joining his mission and leading his church even though we too stumble around and sin.