7 Lessons from a Former Youth Pastor

I had just finished seminary and been hired for my first role in vocational ministry. My wife and I packed our belongings into a minivan and Volkswagen Passat and made the long journey from a city just north of Los Angeles to a town just west of Toronto. For the next seven years, I had the privilege of ministering to the youth of Maple Avenue Baptist Church. Then, in October 2023, that same church called me to be the Senior Pastor. In this article, I want to reflect on seven lessons that I learned from my seven years as a youth pastor to encourage those who are engaged in discipling the next generation for Christ.

First, trust in the ordinary means of grace

By recommending the means of grace in youth ministry, I want to focus particularly on teaching the Bible. It is neither glamorous nor flashy, but in the best sense, it works. Your job is to get up and teach the Bible, week-in and week-out. This will look different to Sunday mornings in some respects—for example, it may be less formal, and you may choose different illustrations—but it should not look drastically different. It is my conviction that when a youth pastor pulls out all kinds of gimmicks and tricks to keep their students’ attention during youth group, he is doing the youth a disservice, especially if what he does is drastically different from the church gatherings on Sunday mornings. This is because the youth may inevitably think that a pastor’s Sunday sermon is boring, dull, or unengaging, not nearly as interesting in comparison to the youth pastor who shows movie clips, Tik Tok videos, and hilarious memes throughout his message. This does not mean you cannot use illustrations or think of creative ways to get your message across, but brother pastor, trust in the power of the Word to do its work over the long haul.

Second, remember that youth ministry is not ultimate, the local church is

One day, your students will leave youth group, but if they are a follower of Jesus, they should never leave the local church. Moreover, Christian youth do not need to wait until they graduate high school to be involved in the life of the church—they can attend Sunday services, be baptized and participate in the Lord’s Supper, attend prayer meetings, and serve in the body. Help your students get plugged into the life of the church today. For example, suggest names of helpful and mature youth to volunteer in the children’s ministry. In your teaching and conversations, connect the idea of being a Christian with belonging to a local church. Make it unthinkable for your students to conceive of the Christian life without being part of a church.

Third, fun and games are not worldly

At our youth group, we always played a group game at the beginning of our evenings. At our retreats, we had icebreakers before the sessions and wide games as part of the schedule. Sometimes, we would cancel teaching and small groups and have a social night. Though I think it is important to prioritize Bible teaching in discipleship, well-placed games can be a great way to break down relational barriers and build community as a group. Perhaps I can put it this way: when young people get together, they like to talk with their friends, play games, and have fun. It is good when youth pastors and leaders can provide space and programming to enjoy these things in a wholesome and God-honouring way, even if it is not their ultimate goal.  

Fourth, do not be their best friend, be their pastor

At the end of the day, a youth pastor is a pastor to young people. Whether he holds the office of elder in his church or not, a youth pastor should devote himself to prayer and the ministry of the Word (Acts 6:4). He should evangelize youth who are lost and disciple youth who are saved, as well as care for youth who may be wandering or wounded. If your personality is cool, hip, and funny, I am sure those characteristics will help you in relating to youth. But those are not the qualities that make for a good youth pastor. The most important traits you need to be an effective youth pastor are qualities such as godliness, love, humility, and genuine care for people. So do not worry if you are not the funniest person or do not have the most charismatic personality; God will use you to impact the lives of young people in significant ways if you pursue godliness, love them, pray for them, spend time with them, and teach them the Bible.

Fifth, you will most often be the one reaching out

At least in my experience, I found that I was initiating most meetings and meals with students. It was rare that a youth would initiate a meeting with me. This is also true regarding meeting with parents. Take the initiative. You will have to be intentional to set-up meetings with youth ahead of time, since you are coordinating several schedules, rides, etc. Here are a few other random pointers for relating with youth. Include the parents in the communication for the sake of accountability. Do not meet privately with a person of the opposite sex. Do not underestimate what you can accomplish during your regularly scheduled youth nights: arrive early, leave late, and be intentional in having good conversations with both youth and leaders.

Sixth, learn to administrate well and be professional

If you are a youth pastor, part of your job is to play games, eat lots of pizza, and spend lots of time with the youth. But your job is more than that. You are set aside by the church to lead the youth ministry and oversee the various aspects of it. This involves planning events, booking venues, managing registrations, calendaring dates, sending emails, paying invoices, leading meetings, delegating tasks, and many other less-than-exciting duties. If I were to guess what a parent is concerned about with respect to youth ministry, it would be three things: 1. the safety of their children; 2. the spiritual input their child is receiving; and 3. the organized and competent administration of the youth ministry. If administration is not your strong suit, then get others to help you in this area. Find someone on your church staff (or in your church) who is organized and ask them questions on how to administrate well. Many godly pastors have lost their ministries because of poor administration and leadership. Don’t be among them. 

Seventh, you have the best job in the world

Now, I do love my current role as the Senior Pastor of my church, but there is something uniquely sweet about being a youth pastor. You are paid by the church to engage youth, build relationships with them, and teach them the Bible. You can use your creativity to plan crazy events and, when you are feeling less creative, you can always book a night of laser tag or go to a trampoline park. You probably eat more pizza than you should, and probably do silly and embarrassing things that you would otherwise not do. But what a privilege is yours, youth pastor, to spend this segment of your life pouring into the next generation with the gospel! You will likely not see the full fruit of your labors for another decade; regardless, be faithful to sow the seed and to give yourself to the work. As Paul exhorted the Galatians, so I exhort you: “Let us not grow weary of doing good, for in due season we will reap, if we do not give up” (Gal 6:9).